I get mentally restless a lot. My brain rarely shuts up. There is always something in my head screaming for attention- do this! Do that! Do everything at once!
Sometimes it's a good thing. I'm very prone to procrastination, so having a nagging mind-voice telling me to get things done is good.
But lately I have been realizing something else about myself and that mind-voice.
I am a perfectionist. I want to do everything that I can [im]possibly do. And when I'm not able to, honestly, I feel like a complete failure. When I don't finish my to-do list quickly, I get frustrated. When I listen to, or talk to, someone who is doing something that seems so-amazingly-important-and-epic, I look at myself and the tiny-by-comparison things I'm doing and feel like a dud. If I can't, or don't, do X, Y, and/or Z (and do them excellently, too!), I somehow feel like I don't measure up, like I'm not a worthwhile person. The list goes on.
Needless to say, this is a constant battle.
So I'm wondering, readers, is this something you struggle with as well? How do you manage to not drive yourself crazy (or at least not into a sulky I'm-a-horrible-person mood?)?
My fiance keeps telling me to let stuff go, but that is so hard when for some reason I think everything I am/should be doing must be done or I and what I do becomes worth little more than a Ritz cracker. Heh. He even brought me a book, Martha to the Max, written by somebody like me who somehow figured something out about dealing with this possibly-useful-but-turned-awful thing called Perfectionism.
I'm looking forward to reading it. Because dealing with this constant mental push-and-pull is, well...making me frustrated, basically.
Such a vicious cycle!